torture memory because honestly i dont want someone to stumble across this in a comment

[spelleton]

[ You can't tell where you are right now; for all you know, you could be in a cell, or in a basement, or in a room where everyone's watching you, or a balcony, or anything, anything, anything anywhere anywhere at all.

Your world is a kaleidoscope of pain, light and darkness rushing through incomprehensibly. Your own breath comes in spurts and gasps. You feel like you're dying, and you wish you would. ]

"Still won't speak? What a waste of time."

"Well, I wouldn't say a waste. There's still some things a warm body can be useful for."

[ You know better than to beg for mercy, even in the shattered mess you've become. So you weep instead, wasting your sparse breath on tears, because there's so little left to you that it doesn't matter, that nothing matters. You want to die. You want to die so badly that it hurts.

Something sharp is set against one side of your face. It stays there for a little while, scratching and scraping maddeningly, and you don't bleed from it, not even when it's rammed in and through because eyes don't have any blood in them

it doesn't change what you see at all and it's scratching and scraping the back of your skull, itching, you can feel it

You want to die so badly. ]

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[opheliaafterdeath]

[The memory stops them dead. Stops their heart dead.

For a moment they are back in that dark room, still bound to a chair. Still listening to others talk over their own screams because there wasn't a need to ask them anything until there was. Escaped one to many times. Pinpoints of pain, the sound of metal being heated, privileges being revoked. No food, no water, no sleep. Blades scraping against the flesh of their wings and eventually bone.

(You want to die so badly.)

Their throat aches and for a moment they are Adriel again.

Nekane doesn't know what to do. These are not their own memories. But these are horrors that they know far too well. It makes them sick.

They don't yet realize it but they've sat down on the floor, a hand digging into the front of their shirt. A loud wheeze escapes them as they try to remember what a kid showed them about breathing. But it's...not working.

I'm not there. they try to tell themself. I'm not fucking there anymore, stop thinking about it. Just breathe. Just shut up!

Their panic climbs regardless of their efforts and if they are no longer alone, it's not something Nekane realizes.]